Apr 5th, 2009
Conquering Fear
I used to dance. I used to dance a lot. From the age of three, dance was my thing. When the question was asked, whether on paper or verbally, “What are your hobbies/interests?” – I ALWAYS answered “Dance”. I graduated college and moved to Atlanta with every intention of picking it up down there (HELLO, hip hop capital of the world!) and never did. And now I have lived in L.A. for almost two years and still no dance. My desire for dance had been buried by excuses followed by lack of attention to it. I could give you ninety-seven reasons why I haven’t danced in years…EXCUSES.
So, why did the excuses initially exist? Well, it’s easy to be “too busy” to get it going. But come on, what is “too busy” covering up. If I really wanted to do it, I would have… right? I mean think about it. We make time for the things we truly want to do. Hell, we probably make even more time for things that we don’t want to do in life, but feel like we have to (that subject needs it’s own post, but seriously take a look at your to-do list). So, why didn’t I make it happen? After some attention and questioning to this matter, this is what I came up with: FALSE FEAR.
There is an awesome explanation of fear in ”Finding Your Own Northstar” by Martha Beck, but let me break it down for you here:
Fear’s purpose is to protect from danger. If you are walking to your car at night and you see a man ahead of you just hanging out and you get an instinctive jolt of fear – you are scared of this guy. Your fear tells you to turn and run. That is true fear.
False fear shows up as generalized anxiety or worry and doesn’t lead to clear action. It usually shows up when the ego is involved. My “fear” was anxiety that I wouldn’t be good enough to keep up with hip hop in Atlanta. I was a good dancer in Indiana. In my mind, Atlanta was going to be another level. And now in L.A., I was recently asked why I don’t still dance. I didn’t know how to answer that. Good question. Why don’t I still dance? “I’m going to get back into it”, I thought to myself. And then the excuses started pouring. And that is when I did the above investigating to finally get to the bottom of this. Once I figured out that false fear was keeping me from getting back into dance – I knew I had to do it.
Healthy reactions to fear:
True fear–> Run from danger.
False fear–> Face it head on.
So, I did some research and chose a studio. Before I went to class, I gave myself permission to be willing to suck at dance. It had been a long time. What if I was rusty and could not keep up with the choreography? What’s the worst thing that could happen? I am there for ME. My opinion is the only one that counts here. Totally fine if I suck at this, I’m there to have fun.
And it was the most fun thing I have done in a long time. I didn’t realize how much I missed dance. I was in heaven. I was surrounded by people that love it just as much as I do. The music was incredible. The choreography was incredible. The instructors were awesome. The other students were nice. I kept up just fine. And most importantly, I had a blast! If I would have let that false fear stand in my way, I would have continued to miss out on my passion.
So here’s to kicking false fear’s ass and living life to it’s fullest! Cheers!
