May 24th, 2009
The Power of Self Talk
I had some pictures taken yesterday and today for my website and some coaching things I have coming up. It has always been a challenge for me to look natural in front of the camera. I’ve heard advice before about how to appear natural in photos, but nothing of value for me…”RELAX” or Think happy thoughts”…stuff like that.
Today, at the very beginning of being photographed, it dawned on me…no wonder I was nervous and uptight and unnatural! The internal dialogue going through my head sounded something like: “First of all, you are smiling at a piece of machinery (camera). Look natural. Your smile is fake. RELAX! You’re too stiff. Stand up straight. Don’t half-smile. Tone that cheezball smile down!”
So, I took a moment to just stop. To take a breath and clear my head. I know that those are crap thoughts. And crap thoughts DON’T DO ANY GOOD – EVER. Also, thoughts lay the foundation for how we feel. Those thoughts were making me feel insecure, unsure, and shy.
These pictures are going to be used in some way, shape or form to help communicate with people. To help people get a better sense of who I am. Many people will be “meeting” me first by a picture. Soooo, I came up with some better feeling internal dialogue: “Treat the camera like it is a person.” “Smile like it’s the first time you are meeting someone”. I kept going over those two things in my head and WOW, there is a noticeable difference between the pictures taken before that clear-my-head session and after. Every time the photographer started shooting again, I just smiled at the camera like I was meeting someone for the first time. I immediately became more relaxed and easy going. More ME, which is the whole point of these pictures! At some point, I realized that I was actually having fun.
SELF TALK IS HUGE in determining your outcome in whatever it is that you’re doing. Start paying attention to those things (a situation, a project, a task, a goal, a dream, etc.) in your life where you feel powerless, shy, insecure or weak. What is the internal dialogue going on? Once you nail it down – change it. Take a moment and start thinking thoughts that are congruent with the outcome you want. If you are having trouble thinking positive, at least think neutral. It’s a step away from negative and towards positive.
Examples of the feeling states that result from positive, neutral and negative self talk/thoughts:
Positive thoughts result in empowered, strong, confident, and excited feeling states.
Neutral thoughts result in indifferent, calm, at peace, and relaxed feeling states.
Negative thoughts results in weak, insecure, and powerless feeling states.
Once again, if you can’t come up with inner dialogue or thoughts that get you to that place of empowerment and confidence, then just come up with what can give you a calm, relaxed feeling. It’s MUCH better than weak and powerless.
“CRAPPY THOUGHTS PRODUCE CRAPPY RESULTS.” -Susan Hyatt
Of course “crappy” is the clinical term
Great stuff. I have those inner dialogue struggles and it does shape outcomes. Sometimes I don’t realize the power of inner dialogue or that I’m even doing it. I think I have allowed it to have too much power. Working on it. Good topic. I’ll put it to use this week and see what happens. Maybe some victories. Like the blog.
Man! Are we mean to ourselves or what? My self-talk was always the same. “You are such a loser.” That’s really motivational, huh? I really didn’t realize I was doing it but I do know I felt like a loser. It’s no wonder. I’ve since turned off that tape and moved on to a more neutral message.
Great post AND great pics!
Andrea