May 17th, 2009
What Do You Choose…
To think big or small?
To move forward or sideways?
To be confident or cocky?
To be humble or insecure?
To live from the inside-out or the outside-in?
To focus forward or rubber-neck at your past?
To take time to be bored or be bored most of the time?
To connect with like-minded people or like-actioned people?
To seek or to meander?
To have a still mind or a stagnant mind?
To stay in your business or meddle in other’s?
To be curious or skeptical?
To live or merely exist?
To be clear or confused?
To be transparent or vague?
To be deliberate or aimless?
To be productive or chaotic?
To make requests or complain?
I choose to think big, move forward, be confident AND humble. I want to BE from the inside-out. I focus forward (although, I had to wear a neck brace for a while from a history of severe rubber-necking at my past). I cherish my scheduled down time and LOVE my like-minded peeps; like-actioned only goes so far. I seek out my truth, practice my still mind, and stay in my business. I am VERY curious and love exploring for answers. I LIVE, baby! In my experience, clarity comes from living inside-out and I strive for that on most days:) I live TAO (transparent, authentic, open). My actions are deliberate for my greater goals. I’ve been working on the last one…NO COMPLAINING:)
With all that being said…the above paragraph will always be a progressive concious process. That’s what it’s all about – living conciously, not unconciously. I choose to grow. There was a time that I breathed, ate, and existed unconciously. Life is so much better now:)
What do you choose?
Could you explain TAO, maybe give some examples…?
Hi MJ,
Sure! Well, TAO is an acronym for Transparent, Authentic and Open. So when I say I live TAO, I just mean that I do my best to always transparent, authentic and open.
The best way that I can describe these three words as I use them…
transparent – to be frank and candid with myself and others at all times
authentic – to be genuine and real at all times
open – I take this to mean two different things: To be open (without judgment) to what others have to say AND to be open and honest at all times (open is very similar to transparent in the second meaning)
Does this help??
Melissa
Is TAO your philosophy? How does being transparent make me better or more effective or happier or….? And how do you get away from “rubbernecking your past?
MJ,
TAO is a philosophy that I learned from Martha Beck (an awesome author and has life coach training program). I’m not sure if she came up with this philosophy, but it is widely know in the self development world. If you like self help/self development, you will surely see TAO again:)
If I am transparent, I am not hiding anything. If I feel the need to hide something, there is something deeper going on there that needs to be addressed. It is not always comfortable to be transparent, but in the end, the rewards out-weigh the discomfort every time. Real shifts begin to happen when you are truly honest with yourself. Self development is rarely comfortable as you may have already experienced. But once again, worth it. If you move toward being TAO, you will experience what I’m talking about.
I’m actually working on a blog about “rubbernecking”, so you will see that soon! But, at the root of it is accepting reality. Accepting and having peace around where you are in this moment. Once you do this, you will not feel the need to “rubberneck” (dwell) on your past. You will be all about the present and the future:)
Keep your eyes open for the new blog post!
I hope this helps!
Melissa
Sorry, but I’m stuck on transparent. So you’re striving to be transparent…with everyone..at all times? You never hide anything? I think my boss is weak, I feel a co-worker is shirking her duties. Transparent at all times? What about self preservation? Or is transparency just about my personal/internal feelings? Kinda lost on this.
Well, TAO is all about being completely honest (especially with yourself) and “My boss is weak” and “My co-worker is shirking her duties” are not the truth because they are not FACTS. Thoughts are not facts, but sometimes they really feel like facts to us because we are so attached to them. Thoughts are your perception, your opinions. I would suggest that if you have some crappy-feeling thoughts, do some work to change them. “My boss is weak” is a thought, not a circumstance (fact). Your perception of the circumstance is “My boss is weak”. You can deliberately choose to think a better feeling thought. This is a big part of what coaches work with people on…takes practice to keep your thoughts in check. I can’t really take it much further here regarding your examples because I don’t have all of the information and wouldn’t be able to get the information unless we were coaching 1:1. There is a great book for turning around bad-feeling thoughts – Loving What Is by Byron Katie. Once you “clean up” your thoughts, you will notice that “I think my boss is weak” or “A co-worker is shirking her duties” and other similar thoughts (opinions) rarely exist anymore.
So TAO is not meant to be used to defend or make a point. With TAO, you always come from a clean place (or at least that’s the goal!).
I have a couple of suggestions for you if you want to learn more about dissolving limiting thoughts: Martha Beck’s Finding Your Own North Star and again Byron Katie’s Loving What Is.
Melissa