Ah, the magic of laughter. It’s incredible to feel so filled up that you must burst at the brim…and laugh. Such a phenomenon!

We can be sincere about life without taking it too seriously. Some call it the sixth sense: the sense of humor. Humor isn’t merely about telling jokes; it’s the way we view the world. The perception of humor exists within your mind. It is culturally defined and socially constructed.

Laughter has physical, mental, emotional and social benefits. I did my research and all of the following benefits ROCK. The physical benefits of laughter listed below have been proven through studies time and time again.

LAUGHTER DOES A BODY GOOD BECAUSE IT…

1 – Invokes feelings of happiness and joy.

Facial expressions are not only reactions to emotional states, but can actually PROVOKE these states as well. FASCINATING, huh?!

2 – Relaxes the whole body.

A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.

3 – Boosts the immune system.

Laughter increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease. It is scientifically proven that people who laugh consistently are able to fight off illness better than those who don’t.

4 – Promotes overall sense of well-being.

Laughter triggers the instantaneous release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals.

5 – Reduces stress.

Laughter reduces at least four hormones associated with stress response: epinephrine (adrenaline), cortisol, dopamine, and growth hormone.

6 – Creates a positive frame of mind.

Laughter brings the focus away from anger, guilt, stress and negative emotions.

7 – Prevents heart problems.

Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which will help protect you against heart attacks and other cardiovascular problems. When we laugh we lower our blood pressure, it increases the blood flow to the heart and pumps more oxygen into the blood. It also strengthens artery walls.

8 – Results in muscle relaxation.

While you laugh, the muscles that do not participate in the belly laugh, relax. (Pay attention next time you laugh and you’ll definitely notice this!)

9 – Changes your perspective.

Humor gives us a more light-hearted perspective and helps us view events as challenges, not threats.

10 – Causes deep respiration.

Laughter empties your lungs of more air than it takes in resulting in a cleansing effect – similar to deep breathing. This is especially helpful for people who are suffering from respiratory ailments.

11 – Lowers blood pressure.

People who laugh heartily on a regular basis have lower blood pressure than those who don’t.

12 – Increased intake of O₂.

During laughter, breathing then becomes deeper and sends oxygen enriched blood and nutrients throughout the body.

13 – Creates immediate connection.

When two or more are laughing together – it creates a connection instantly.

14 – Gives a nice internal workout.

A good belly laugh exercises the diaphragm, contracts the abs and even works out the shoulders. In doing my research for this article, I noticed that some experts call this “internal jogging”.  Funny, huh?!

15 – Can reduce and manage pain.

Two reasons: A) Laughter distracts you, taking your mind off of pain. B) Laughter-released endorphins (natural pain killers) attach to the same receptors in our brain as opiate-based prescription painkillers; thus, chemically giving you pain relief.

16 – Provides a physical release.

Have you ever felt like you “have to laugh or I’ll cry”? Have you experienced the cleansed feeling after a good laugh? Laughter provides a physical and emotional release.

17 – Enables you to live longer.

With everything listed above, I don’t think I even have to go into the WHY.

18 – is FUN!

And who doesn’t want more of that?!

Start smiling now and laughing ASAP. Think of times when you always laugh. Are there any common themes of who you are with, where you are, or what you are doing? Recreate those memories in new ways!

Some ideas: Watch your favorite funny movie, go to a comedy club, plan a game night with good friends, record your favorite funny show so that you’re sure not to miss it, talk on the phone to a good friend that you are sure to laugh with, schedule a time to meet someone you laugh with for happy hour or a coffee/tea, begin seeing things that happen in your life with an easier-going attitude (lighten up).

As laughter, humor, and play become an integrated part of your life, your creativity will flourish and new discoveries for playing with friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and loved ones will occur to you daily.

Humor takes you to a higher place where you can view the world from a more relaxed, positive, creative, joyful, and balanced perspective.

“HE WHO LAUGHS, LASTS!”   -Mary Pettibone Poole

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When someone tells you of their devastating medical news, it can be hard to know exactly what to say. Here are four things to keep in mind so that you can be there for them in the most supportive way possible.

TIP #1: SHOW CONCERN, NOT FEAR

You know when someone else is fearful – even when they don’t verbalize it, you can almost smell it.

It would be unconstructive and discouraging for them to sense the fear that you may feel for them. Deal with your fear away from them. That is your stuff. Don’t even give them a chance to take on your fear.

Showing CARE and CONCERN for them, however, is completely appropriate.

Because there are parts of devastating medical news that present uncertainty and pain, that is all we tend to look at. We let fear of these things take over. It’s important to look at the big picture. Everyone has their own journey. And this news has become a part of theirs. Yes, there will be and is uncertainty and pain. There is ALSO the chance to take a step back and evaluate priorities, relationships, etc.

It’s not a joy ride. However, these are the kind of times where life lessons take place. And allowing fear to take over will only place drama in the situation. Read on for more tips to make sure you are showing care and concern.

TIP #2: DON’T SAY I’M SORRY

Often times, because we don’t know what to say, “I’m so sorry” is what comes out.

Saying sorry does not help the person in any way, shape or form.

Saying sorry implies doom.

Imagine being the one (or maybe you have been the one) informing the necessary people of a devastating diagnosis that’s been given to you. Can you imagine if every one of them said “I’m so sorry”? It would be disheartening.

And why say sorry? In a very subtle way (even though you don’t mean it this way), saying sorry makes it a little about you. And this is all about them.

Example: When they tell you their news, instead of “I’m sorry”, you could say “Oh wow. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot lately.” Let them know that you realize this is a big deal without having pity on them. And don’t say much more than that initially. They will most likely begin again with more information about what’s going on.

Keep reading for other appropriate things to say…

TIP #3: BE INTERESTED, NOT CURIOUS.

Be interested in them, not curious about their situation.

When you are curious, you are eager to learn the details of the situation. There is a sense of trivial and unnecessary conversation.

Being interested, you are more on their level wanting to connect and listen. There is a sense of care and concern.

If you are not at eye level when this news is delivered to you – get at eye level with them. This promotes more of an equal and connected feeling between the two of you.

Now, going back to the example: If while you are giving them the space to talk, there are several seconds of silence, you could ask something like…

“Have you already begun any treatment?” or “Have your doctors already set up a treatment plan with you?”

Asking these questions shows that you care about them and what they’re going through, not the details of the diagnosis. The details of the diagnosis are not for you to ask about because it doesn’t matter. It matters to the team of doctors that need to decide the course of treatment.

Curiosity and interest are two totally different energies. And if you think they can’t FEEL the difference between these two energies – think again.

TIP #4: BE COMFORTING

Be calm. Be warm. Be present.

Listen until they give you the space to talk. And when it is your turn to talk, say things that convey your support and care for them in a genuine and comforting tone of voice. Your tone of voice can make all of the difference.

See them through your eyes as the perfect soul that they are and nothing less.

Towards the end of your conversation, say could something to the effect of “If there is ever anything I can do to make any step of this journey a little easier for you – don’t hesitate to let me know.”

And if it feels right to you, drop them a card in the mail soon after to let them know that they are in your thoughts.

You can certainly say more than what I have offered in this article. My hope is that you get a sense of the overall tone that will be most helpful for the person.

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Tags: devastating medical news, devastating news, devastation, fear, medical news, overcoming fear, reaction, sympathy, sympathy for others

Listed below are sure-fire tips that promote a clear and sharp mind…

1 – Become Aware of Your Thoughts

It doesn’t always feel like there is a separation between our mind and soul. There are three parts to each of us: body (our fascinating and very advanced HOUSE), mind (our thinking; the ENGINE) and soul (the LIFE that resides in the HOUSE).

Thoughts are powerful. In fact, they are literally our point of power. They guide us.

The funny thing is, we usually just think away without ever really thinking what we’re thinking about!

Being aware of your thoughts just means that you NOTICE, without judgment, the thoughts that you think. Our thoughts are like the running ticker at the bottom of a CNN screen. So, just as you would watch the ticker at the bottom of the screen – watch your own thinking. And again, WITHOUT JUDGMENT. Don’t try to analyze, just notice.

Practice this as much as possible. And like with anything else, the more you practice – the better you get.

2 – Spend Time in Silence

There is so much going on in our lives. Our minds are constantly distracted by sights and sounds. Especially in today’s society because we have technology around us at all times.

Technology is fabulous, but being inundated with it creates overstimulation. And we wonder why ADD is so prevalent these days! It is so easy to disconnect from ourselves and constantly be taken up with our environment.

Sitting in silence/meditating is like hitting the reset button. We need time to reconnect with ourselves and reset so that we can live from the inside out. So that we can live from a centered place.

When we go through life out of touch with ourselves and uncentered, we are constantly REACTING to our environment.

Schedule at least 5 minutes/day for silence. Close your eyes, breathe, and just be. Reconnect your body, mind and soul. Reconnect with yourself.

3 – Take Brain Breaks

Research shows that short breaks from your work or activity will create more efficient and laser focused attention during the work periods.

For every 60-90 minutes of work, take a 5-10 minute break.

Schedule your work periods and schedule your breaks. AND STICK TO IT.

The brain performs better when it has plenty of oxygenated blood. During a break, get your blood flowing a bit. For example, breathe deeply for a minute or two to get some good oxygen into your blood. After the deep breaths, stretch out and move around. Stretch up tall and definitely stretch your legs. Walk around some if you can.

It’s important to give your brain breaks. Stop treating it like a workhorse! Start incorporating this into your day and watch yourself get sharper and more productive!

4 – Avoid over-eating

FOOD COMAS. We’ve all had them. That lethargic feeling after eating too much.

Talk about brain fog! There is no way that you can be sharp and clear after over-eating.

The best way to avoid over-eating is to eat for FUEL 90% of the time. (The other 10% is for joy eating…birthday cake and other times of celebration!)

LISTEN to your body. It will tell you when you’re hungry and when you’re not. We just aren’t used to tuning in to listen to the sensations that our body gives.

Think of hunger as a scale of -10 to +10. -10 is FAMISHED. +10 is STUFFED. And right, smack dab in the middle is Zero. Zero is neutral. Try to constantly stay between -2 and +2.

Staying in this range will keep your eating from jeopardizing your mental clarity.

5 – Eliminate consistent, excessive alcohol intake

With this kind of brain fog – you just feel plain stupid.

Consistent moderate alcohol intake results in consistent mild to moderate brain fog.

Getting hammered will result in severe brain fog for 1-2 days and mild brain fog for days after that.

There are a couple of reasons for these lasting effects…

Alcohol strips vitamin B1 (thiamine) from your brain. Thiamine is essential for brain function. This deficiency that is inevitable from getting a buzz (or plastered) results in depression, irritability and brain fog.

Also, alcohol consumption suppresses REM sleep. REM sleep lasts for 70-90 minutes each night and is when you actively dream. Emotions and stress are dealt with during REM sleep. Lack of REM sleep can make you feel more stressed, emotional and can result in a decline of mental activity (as well as hormone and immune system problems).

Start incorporating these tips into your life and notice how much better you regularly begin to feel!

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Tags: gut, Happiness, intuition, overcoming fear, Thinking, thoughts

Our lives are constantly in motion. And there are different speeds at different times in our life. Sometimes the speed of life is like an idling car and other times it’s more like riding in Tony Stewart’s car during a NASCAR race. Hold on tight!

Regardless, life is ALWAYS in motion.

Sometimes we feel stuck. When you feel that, remind yourself that stuck is a state of mind – not a physical problem.

We need BOTH, the times of slower, more calm movement AND those times where there is momentum and velocity.

One reason that we tend to keep ourselves “stuck” in either the idle mode OR in the adrenaline pumping, race mode of life is because we are afraid to say goodbye to what we know is no longer serving us. Good bye to someone or something.

Afraid of letting go.

We place a lot of drama around letting go. When you keep your focus on the goodbye of one thing and NOT the HELLO of the new –drama is created, fear is perpetuated, and there is less-than-turtle-paced forward movement with your life.

Focusing on what you are moving away from (or what is moving away from you) creates that illusionary stuckness that you feel.

Drama does not have to be a part of letting go. Your thoughts and actions around a goodbye create the drama.

You can look at it in a sad, dramatic way OR you can look at it as shedding old skin. A fresh place that allows for forward movement and growth.

Letting go is about release.

It’s about allowing change.

We all have those moments when we just KNOW that it’s time to move on.

You know what I’m talking about. It’s like a tiny voice inside that whispers. And sometimes when we hear it, it’s tempting to cover our ears and sing loudly. Because we know that the voice is calling for change.

You have two options when you feel this instinct for change:

1) Ignore Your Inner Knowing

Ignoring your inner knowing is a very convenient way to go. You can stay inside your comfort zone. You will likely grow more miserable with time, but you’ll get to stay in that comfortable place of yours.

“Comfortable and miserable” is easy because it is familiar. And familiarity rules, unless you are willing to break that pattern.

EXAMPLE: If you have a deep inner knowing that you are in the wrong relationship, you can ignore it by flat out lying to yourself about it. It’s easy to ignore the truth, to keep making excuses and giving reasons why it is the right relationship for you and slap on a fake smile.

Fast forward 2 years…everything around you has changed or shifted in some way or another. And you have grown more unhappy and miserable somehow. That inner knowing that you sensed and decided to stuff down and ignore is still there…you are just not living in alignment with it.

And that, my friend, is a recipe for UNhappiness.

So you can ignore that inner knowing OR YOU CAN…

2) Acknowledge Your Truth
When an instinct for change arises, we tend to not even acknowledge our truth. There is usually fear around what that would mean. Acknowledging our truth means that change and movement HAVE to happen, right?!

Nope. Not at all.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT takes place on the inside. ACTION takes place on the outside.
You get to choose what action to take, if any at all.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ≠ ACTION.

Instead of lying to yourself, just acknowledge what you intuitively know is true.
If there’s one person that needs to hear your pure honesty, it’s YOU.

And now, using the previous relationship example, whether you choose to continue the relationship or leave it, you are clear. Clarity is oh-so-important when it comes to making decisions.

Change is rarely easy, which is why there is a tendency to avoid it. Growth cannot happen without some change. And change cannot happen without an occasional “see ya later” to something or someone.

People that are truly living life allow the instinct for change to be heard. They are honest with themselves. They acknowledge their truth.

As you acknowledge your truth and trust your instincts, you may decide it’s worth it to step out of your comfort zone and actually honor your truth.

True happiness and success comes from spending time at the intersection of self-honesty and self-honoring. And that intersection is rarely inside of our small bubbles of comfort.

“Goodbye to one thing is hello to another. And hello is full of opportunity and a fresh place to be.”

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Owner of Brilliant Life Design and twenty/thirty-something life coach, Melissa Foster, works with clients to take their life OFF of auto-pilot and get ON purpose. If you want to start living a life that delivers lasting success, sign up for a fre*e subscription to Melissa’s weekly eZine, Fully Alive at www.BrilliantLifeDesign.com.

Tags: actions, feelings, Happiness, intuition, thoughts

Here is a quick video to explain a couple of terms that I use A LOT in coaching:) Enjoy!

I have a client (let’s call her Lori) who was in a relationship that was not serving her. Her boyfriend was disrespectful in many ways. He was always knocking her down instead of lifting her up. She kept thinking that he would eventually come around and put her at the top of his priority list. Yeah, right. Eventually, he broke up with her.

Lori got through the heartbreak and was better for it. As she moved forward with her life, she began excelling both personally and professionally.

The ex came up during our last call. Lori said, “I wish he could see me now because I am thriving in every way!” She wanted to show him that she is better off without him.

I can relate to this. We can all relate to this in some form or another. Maybe not in the form of an ex, but with someone in our life…A family member, boss or co-worker, etc. We’ve all had those people in our lives from which we craved and desired respect. (Respecting yourself is the basis of how respect from others naturally develops – a whole different topic and post.) Lori was dealing with an emotional spot that, at a couple of different times in my life, was very tender for me.

In dealing with certain people in this light, it is my experience that a combination of two basic things give way to complete detachment.

The truth of the matter is that if we wish that a certain someone could “see us now”, we are still attached. It means we care what they think about us. We feel the need to prove something. If we get satisfaction from proving to someone from our past that we are better without them – we are not truly free from that person.

It is only when you are genuinely indifferent that they know anything about you ever again.

So how the heck do you detach?

Well, to detach from them, you must fully attach to yourself and all you’re up to. You become your sole focus….your health, your career, your preferences, what feeds your soul, etc. That IS self development. That is also the basis of striving for personal excellence. As cheesy as it sounds – it all boils down to self love.

Become very interested in you. Become very interested and dedicated to the regular practice of this and then you are on the path that sets you free.

And time is on your side IF (big IF here!) you do become interested in self development. If you just float through life, no amount of time will completely free you.

SELF INTEREST + TIME = COMPLETE DETACHMENT

COMPLETE DETACHMENT = TRUE FREEDOM

We hear this talk about living in the present moment. But what does that REALLY mean?

Living in the present moment is all about APPRECIATION and GRATITUDE (and maybe throw a little love in there too). When you are appreciating and being grateful for what you are experiencing, you are totally present.

When we are living for the next moment, we are truly missing out.

When we are rehashing our past, we are truly missing out.

People often ask “How is it possible to stay in the present moment AND create/plan for your future?”

Here is what I know: That if you are working on something for your future from a truly grateful and appreciative place AND enjoying the journey that you are on and the process that is unfolding – you are living in the present moment. In my experience, it is not possible to be filled with gratitude and NOT be present. Some believe (I used to!) that to live in the present moment, you must do something like: sit under a tree, wear weird garb and just BE.

Well, that’s one way to do it. There are times when that actually sounds appealing to me! Most of the time, however, it does not. I don’t aspire to live my life under a tree, even if the scenery/enlightenment IS kick ass. And I’m willing to bet that you feel the same way. So, no worries! Because constantly bringing yourself back to that place of gratitude and appreciation as often as possible… is all that you need:)

Recognize how grateful you are for the big, and ESPECIALLY, the little things. As often as you can, to yourself or outloud, say thank you. For any and everything. It feels weird at first. Do it anyway:)

A good friend sent this to me today and I ate it up. Been a long time since I’ve seen this movie. Such an inspiring message! Try to sit through the 2 minutes and 24 seconds. There is a quote at the end that gives me goosies (my term for goosebumps), so I think you’ll like it too:)

Video blog.

Tags: Happiness, joy, video blog

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