BLD BLOG

Our lives are constantly in motion. And there are different speeds at different times in our life. Sometimes the speed of life is like an idling car and other times it’s more like riding in Tony Stewart’s car during a NASCAR race. Hold on tight!

Regardless, life is ALWAYS in motion.

Sometimes we feel stuck. When you feel that, remind yourself that stuck is a state of mind – not a physical problem.

We need BOTH, the times of slower, more calm movement AND those times where there is momentum and velocity.

One reason that we tend to keep ourselves “stuck” in either the idle mode OR in the adrenaline pumping, race mode of life is because we are afraid to say goodbye to what we know is no longer serving us. Good bye to someone or something.

Afraid of letting go.

We place a lot of drama around letting go. When you keep your focus on the goodbye of one thing and NOT the HELLO of the new –drama is created, fear is perpetuated, and there is less-than-turtle-paced forward movement with your life.

Focusing on what you are moving away from (or what is moving away from you) creates that illusionary stuckness that you feel.

Drama does not have to be a part of letting go. Your thoughts and actions around a goodbye create the drama.

You can look at it in a sad, dramatic way OR you can look at it as shedding old skin. A fresh place that allows for forward movement and growth.

Letting go is about release.

It’s about allowing change.

We all have those moments when we just KNOW that it’s time to move on.

You know what I’m talking about. It’s like a tiny voice inside that whispers. And sometimes when we hear it, it’s tempting to cover our ears and sing loudly. Because we know that the voice is calling for change.

You have two options when you feel this instinct for change:

1) Ignore Your Inner Knowing

Ignoring your inner knowing is a very convenient way to go. You can stay inside your comfort zone. You will likely grow more miserable with time, but you’ll get to stay in that comfortable place of yours.

“Comfortable and miserable” is easy because it is familiar. And familiarity rules, unless you are willing to break that pattern.

EXAMPLE: If you have a deep inner knowing that you are in the wrong relationship, you can ignore it by flat out lying to yourself about it. It’s easy to ignore the truth, to keep making excuses and giving reasons why it is the right relationship for you and slap on a fake smile.

Fast forward 2 years…everything around you has changed or shifted in some way or another. And you have grown more unhappy and miserable somehow. That inner knowing that you sensed and decided to stuff down and ignore is still there…you are just not living in alignment with it.

And that, my friend, is a recipe for UNhappiness.

So you can ignore that inner knowing OR YOU CAN…

2) Acknowledge Your Truth
When an instinct for change arises, we tend to not even acknowledge our truth. There is usually fear around what that would mean. Acknowledging our truth means that change and movement HAVE to happen, right?!

Nope. Not at all.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT takes place on the inside. ACTION takes place on the outside.
You get to choose what action to take, if any at all.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT ≠ ACTION.

Instead of lying to yourself, just acknowledge what you intuitively know is true.
If there’s one person that needs to hear your pure honesty, it’s YOU.

And now, using the previous relationship example, whether you choose to continue the relationship or leave it, you are clear. Clarity is oh-so-important when it comes to making decisions.

Change is rarely easy, which is why there is a tendency to avoid it. Growth cannot happen without some change. And change cannot happen without an occasional “see ya later” to something or someone.

People that are truly living life allow the instinct for change to be heard. They are honest with themselves. They acknowledge their truth.

As you acknowledge your truth and trust your instincts, you may decide it’s worth it to step out of your comfort zone and actually honor your truth.

True happiness and success comes from spending time at the intersection of self-honesty and self-honoring. And that intersection is rarely inside of our small bubbles of comfort.

“Goodbye to one thing is hello to another. And hello is full of opportunity and a fresh place to be.”

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Owner of Brilliant Life Design and twenty/thirty-something life coach, Melissa Foster, works with clients to take their life OFF of auto-pilot and get ON purpose. If you want to start living a life that delivers lasting success, sign up for a fre*e subscription to Melissa’s weekly eZine, Fully Alive at www.BrilliantLifeDesign.com.

We are all so used to our feelings. Not sensory feelings (pain, hot, cold etc.), but emotions. “I am SO in tune with my feelings.” Have you ever heard someone say that? Do you say that? I have pictured in my head a couple of people that I know that say that. But the majority of people are not truly in tune with their feelings. It will certainly serve you well if you are…

Being aware of our emotions is not a bad thing, but don’t stop there! Where does the feeling register in your body? That question is so important.

Most of us are as nub as a frostbitten finger when it comes to FEELING our emotions (except heartache/heartbreak. Most of us can describe that feeling very well…i guess due to it’s severity?). How do you know what emotion you are feeling? What does excited feel like in your body? How about fear? Or sadness? or anger? The list could go on and on. This is very easy for some to tap into and not so easy for others. But no matter how hard it may seem, it IS registering, you are just not able to pick up on it…yet. You will not be able to experience the physical sensation unless you are actually experiencing the emotion. You can practice it next time you notice a real life experience triggering a thought that creates an emotion (it happens all day everyday) OR you can do a quick 3-5 minute exercise called the Body Scan (SUPER easy).

The brain triggers neurotransmitters when we think a thought (creating an emotion) that sends signals into the body. It is important to be able to detect emotions in our body because our body will never steer us wrong. Our analytical, judgemental and constantly suspicious left brain, however, can trick us! So, relying on our brain for steadfast guidance will lead you off of your right path. Any emotion that manifests not-so-good physical sensation is a sure sign that the thought that created the emotion should be changed. Any emotion that registers a good, freeing and/or light physical sensation is a sure sign that we are on the right track.

Take a moment just to notice. Just being aware is over half of the journey to creating a better feeling you.

If you would like me to send you the Body Scan exercise that will help you tap into your body compass, please contact me through www.brilliantlifedesign.com.

Your coach,

Melissa